You & Me
by nothinginreturn
Summary: Both of their paths led to this day. Almost three years ago, Ashley Williams and John Shepard were torn apart from one another cruelly by the destruction of the SSV Normandy . When The Reapers arrive and the Galaxy needs them will they able to recapture what they once had before time runs out? Alternate ME-3.
1. Honesty

It was a spectacular view in theory. The views offered by the large window to the side of Lieutenant Commander Ashley Williams showed peace, tranquillity, calm and normality. But as she lay in the hospital bed, Ashley shared little similarities with what was offered by the view. Ashley Williams was angry. But more then that, she was bored. Incredibly, overwhelmingly and most positively bored out of her mind.

In her opinion, Councillor Donnel Udina was nothing more then a snake in the grass. She always had a strong distaste from the man ever since she first met him three years ago in the Citadel Embassies. The man had evolved since then – he moved from his position as Ambassador to Councillor when David Anderson had made the choice to stand down. But yet his appearance in her room was a welcome moment. It was surprising – she didn't hide her feelings of the man during her first spell on the Normandy and her reaction once the original Normandy had done down in flames certainly wouldn't have brought them any closer. She was furious at everybody who could have played a part in getting Commander Shepard killed. From the Council, to the Alliance, to herself..

When the Councillor had appeared, it seemed that all water was under the bridge. He showed no signs of a grudge, greeting the Lieutenant Commander kindly and enquiring about her well being. What came next was even more surprising.

Udina had offered to make her a SPECTRE.

_Ashley Williams – SPECTRE_. It certainly had a nice ring to it. But why her? Was the curse finally lifting? Ashley had no idea what to say, eventually managing to ask for some time to consider the offer.

_Consider the offer? That's showing nothing but weakness marine._

In reality, Ashley's knowledge of the SPECTRE's didn't stretch that far. There was Saren Arterius, the rogue Turian that Ashley had followed half-way around the Galaxy before finally having a chance to put a well deserved bullet in the Turians head. And then there was Shepard – Commander John Shepard of the SSV Normandy SR1. If it wasn't for Shepard, she wouldn't be standing here. If it wasn't for Shepard, the Galaxy would have already fallen. Despite Saren's actions, she knew about his history. He was a powerful force, strong, determined and most of all ruthless. Shepard meanwhile could convince the biggest anti-gun campaigner to pick up a riffle and follow him straight into hell if he so well chose to. Yet unlike Saren, he was compassionate, caring and a force for good.

_And I don't belong on the same pedestal. _

Ashley could acknowledge her proficiency on the battlefield, that wasn't the issue here. She simply felt like she didn't belong there. Not after Eden Prime. Not after what she saw Shepard go through. Here was a man who had died after sacrificing everything that he had inside of him to stop Sovereign, Saren and the Geth. And in the end, he was taken away from the Galaxy.

And he was taken away from her.

Ashley Williams wasn't sure exactly when she fell in love with John Shepard. She came to the conclusion that it must have happened somewhere between saving her from getting her brain fried by a Prothean beacon and sacrificing the life of Lieutenant Kaidan Alenko on Virmire. After Kaidan's death, she was a mixed bag of emotions. An overwhelming tide of shame washed through her combined with the anger at Shepard for making sure she lived. Her feet soon took her to the Commander, but all thoughts of rage soon drifted when she looked into the eyes of the SPECTRE. The hurt flooded through him and all Ashley could do was console the man, trying to pick him back up for the battles ahead.

Their night before Ilos was something that Ashley would never forget. Despite the nights they had shared post the battle of the Citadel, it was always this night that would often return itself into her dreams. And it grew to be not the night that made her smile, but the night that would haunt her so sleep would become a rarity. Because just weeks later, everything changed.

Despite the present, it was still a difficult subject for Ashley to bare to even think about. _The last nod as he sent away the distress beacon and then.._

It was over. And it was never the same. No matter how much she tried in the first couple of months, she couldn't control her mind as it tormented her about the impact that John Shepard had made in such a short time. When she was allowed to continue her work in the Alliance, she threw herself in head first. Suitors would continually come knocking, but they would always be knocked back. She wasn't ready and they weren't him.

The years passed by quickly. Horizon. There had always been reports:

- Shepard was alive - he had faked his death and gotten plastic surgery.

- He had turned himself into a Turian using modern medicine.

- He was now going as a female named Jane.

But it was always just rumours and stupid speculation on the extranet. And then he stood before her.

He looked tired. The embrace was tentative, his voice weaker then usual as her name came to his lips. And despite all of it, for a moment Ashley felt as if the miracle she had prayed for every night had finally come true. But her world was turned upside down in an instant once more. Cerberus. He was with Cerberus. The name that would forever make Ashley's skin crawl. And John Shepard was standing by their side.

She never gave him a chance. Despite his pleas to listen and see reason, she didn't want to know. After having her world turned upside down twice in a matter of minutes, all she wanted to do was leave. So she did. Despite the man that she loved re-appearing after two years, she got as far away from possible. Despite all her questions, she ran. She wasn't ready to ask those questions and she wasn't sure she'd like the answers anyhow.

When she was ready, she began to type.

_Shepard-_

_I'm sorry for what I said back on Horizon. When I lost you two years ago, it tore me up. I prayed for you every day. I read a lot of Tennyson, thinking about you, just like I did when my dad passed. And then you came back, and it was like my prayers were answered. But I'm not who I was then, and neither are you. _

_I don't know what's true anymore. Part of me can't believe it's really you. I keep going back to that night before Ilos. Our night... I haven't let myself think about those memories in over a year. _

_I wouldn't have expected you to work for Cerberus, but I know why they sent you to Horizon. I saw how many people were lost there, and if anyone can stop the Collectors, you can. I can't go where you're going, but I can wish you luck._

_Just stay alive out there... Skipper. I don't know what the future holds, but I can't lose you for a second time. _

_-Ash_

_Death closes all: but something ere the end.  
Some work of noble note, may yet to be done.  
Not unbecoming men that strove with Gods. _

She had never received an answer. It wasn't a surprise, she knew that she had hurt him when she had walked away. She couldn't help but think of the company that joined him on Horizon – a beautiful woman with a body that you would only normally see on the extranet. She couldn't help but stare, the catsuit was the most ass-backwards type of armour she had ever seen in her career up to this point. And no man could surely resist that? She looked perfect.

When Shepard was arrested, David Anderson had constantly asked for her to be present at his defence hearings. She refused every single time, unable to bare the thought of facing the man that she had looked up to so highly in cuffs. Ashley didn't know what to think – she had seen the reports and she knew that Shepard had made the right call. As hard as it was, there was nothing more that he could do. And she knew that the same eyes that was filled with hurt after Virmire would once again be bleeding. But she couldn't give him that despite how much she had wanted to.

Everything had happened in seemingly a flash. Their first encounter in the hallway. The Reapers arrival. Their escape from Earth.

_The Normandy. Joker. Shepard._

But it wasn't the Normandy, not really. It wasn't even a copy. The advanced war-ship that she flew on felt nothing like the home that had been made during the hunt for Saren. And with Shepard, the same feelings flared. _Is he just a copy? And advanced decoy of the saviour of the Citadel?_

Her questions came thick and fast once they had touched down on Mars. And every single answer made her feel worse. Not that the answers given were wrong, but they were right – so incredibly right. Every word that Shepard said to her he meant and she knew that. The same fire and passion was there as it had been the first time round and if she hadn't experienced the past two years it would have been like nothing had changed.

Ashley remembered little of what happened on Mars, but she did remember his smile. The smile after he said that he wanted her with him, no matter where they would go or what would happen. It was a smile filled with friendship. It was a smile filled with love. Because no matter how long had passed for Ashley Williams, the time felt notably shorter for John Shepard.

And John Shepard was still in love with Ashley Williams.

When she woke for the first time, Dr. Chloe Michel was quick to inform Ashley on what had happened. Shepard had provided the doctor with a detailed account when they had brought her to the Citadel, an account which the doctor then relayed to Ashley. She was thankful, as she remembered nothing to do with what put her in the hospital. Ashley just knew that she was hurting. But she was determined to get out of the bed they had found for her, get her ass back to the Normandy and join Shepard and the crew in stopping the Reapers. Ashley didn't know what the future would hold for her and Shepard, but she knew that at one point she would have a lot to say about it.

As the door to her room slid open once more, Ashley was hoping for anything that would potentially distract her from the mind numbing boredom that she was facing as time slowly ticked by. What she wasn't expecting was the man who occupied so much time in her mind to be standing in the door frame. She had been told that he had visited once since her admittance, the Lieutenant Commander still out like a light when he had arrived shortly after the doctors and nurses had done their work.

And now he stood before her once more.

"I'm surprised you're still lying there. I thought you'd have made your escape by now."

Ashley was surprised that she laughed so hard at his joke. But for Ashley Williams, she couldn't remember the last time that she had shared that joy.

"I considered it, but I thought there may have been sharks in the water."

Shepard raised an eyebrow, walking fully into the room and over to the window. "You may be right. And it's quite a large drop. But you know there's a door right over the right?"

Ashley rolled her eyes. "I'm well aware."

"You know I took Chakwas off your hands, so if you did attempt to make an escape she wouldn't be here to scold you. I mean you'd get an earful on the Normandy but you wouldn't be lying in that bed."

"So my options are get scolded now, or get scolded later?"

"Who'd scold you now? I wouldn't think there's anyone here who could stop Lieutenant Commander Ashley Williams."

Ashley smiled softly. "Well that's true Commander.. but I heard that Dr. Michel has a mean streak that shouldn't be messed with."

Laughter soon filled the room from both Ashley and Shepard. While they both thought fondly of Dr. Chloe Michel the thought of her kicking up a storm was such an incredibly alien thought after what they had done to make sure that she was safe three years ago.

Pulling up a chair beside her bed, Shepard sat down with a groan.

"You okay?"

The SPECTRE nodded. "I'm fine. Just a little sore. Not long back from Menae, we had to do a favour for the Turian Councillor. Thankfully while we were there we picked up an old friend."

Ashley smiled. "Garrus?"

Shepard nodded. Ashley was glad, she had grown to like Garrus Vakarian as time had went by. Unsure at first of the Turian, she was glad to be proved wrong by the end of their mission.

"And you?"

Ashley sighed. "I'm just peachy, Commander. I'm loving all the rest and relaxation I'm getting here. In fact, I've got a facial booked at two and I'll be in the sauna by three!"

"That bored eh?"

"You don't know the half of it. I've been climbing the walls since before you got here. Hell I even enjoyed a meeting with Udina earlier today."

"Udina?"

"Yeah.. he." Ashley paused, shrugging. "He asked me to become a SPECTRE."

If Shepard was surprised, he didn't show it. His voice was inquisitive however. "A SPECTRE? That's.."

"Surprising? Stupid? Random? An awful idea?"

Shepard chuckled. "I was going to say great. You deserve to be recognized for all your hard work Ash."

Shepard's words quickly filled Ashley Williams with a warmth that had been lacking for so long. Still, she attempted to keep her feet on the ground. Bed. Whichever.

"That's kind of you to say Shepard. But a SPECTRE? I don't know. I'm going to need some time to think about it."

"It sounds like you have all the time in the world here!"

"Ha ha." Ashley deadpanned. "Maybe you're right."

"Look, Ash." The sudden change in tone of Shepard's voice surprised Ashley. "There's a lot of things that I need to say. And.. I know this probably isn't the right time for them. But what happened on Mars, what's happening everywhere around the Galaxy right now.. To see Palaven burning just like Earth.. I don't know how much time there is left to say them."

Ashley gulped. _I guess this is it then._

"You're right. There's.. things I need to say too. But I have to say I'm surprised Shepard."

Shepard titled his head slightly. "Why?"

"You were pretty clear on where we stood on Mars."

_Why did I just say that? He was nothing but patient and kind. _

Shepard was obviously confused. "With what?"

"Cerberus."

Shepard sighed. He knew that this would be a hard-topic for Ashley especially after how things played out on Horizon all those months ago.

"My relationship with Cerberus is over, I cut all ties with The Illusive Man once we destroyed the Collector base."

Ashley nodded. "I believe that. But what about us?"

Ashley was instantly kicking herself. Instead of planning to build up to the subject slowly, she dived head first into the topic that was clearly on both of their minds.

_Maybe it's for the best. There's no use skirting around things, not any more. Not with..wait what did he say?_

Ashley blinked, attempting to tear herself from the thoughts that she had delved into.

_He didn't just say what I think he did.. did he?_

"John.. did you just.."

"I love you Ashley."

_Oh. He did. I was right.._

_Shit. _


	2. Hope

Ashley gripped the edges of the bed as she attempted to raise herself up into a better sitting position. In reality she was looking for anything that would prove to be a suitable distraction._ I half wish Sovereign's half brother 'Slugger' would attack the Citadel right now. Anything but this._ She wasn't sure if she was ready to have the talk with Shepard right now. She definitely knew that she wasn't ready to her those three words. Finally she had no choice but to reply. And it was blunt.

"What the hell Shepard?"

Shepard was slightly taken aback by Ashley's forcefulness as he rubbed the back of his neck. "I know that's probably the worst thing to say in the world right now."

Ashley shook her head with an exasperated look on her face. "Shepard, really. I mean.. what are you doing? You can't do this right now."

"Ash.."

"No! You come in here and want to talk, I appreciate that I really do. And I want to talk about everything. Some of it's going to be hard for me to say but.. right now you understand where I'm coming from right?"

Shepard nodded.

"Then why say it?"

Shepard sighed, lowering his head as he looked down upon the hospital floor. "I'm scared, Ashley. I'm scared that if I don't tell you now, I may never have a chance to again."

"Because of what happened on Menae?"

Shepard looked up, locking eyes with the bedridden soldier. "Because of what happened on Mars, Ash."

Ashley attempted to smile. "This is just a scratch Shepard, don't worry about it I've had much worse."

"You don't need to do that."

"Do what?"

"Try and lighten the mood. I was there Ash. I saw you go down and... I didn't think that I'd see you get back up again."

Ashley hadn't thought about things from Shepard's perspective on Mars. She wondered what she would have been like if Shepard had made one of the escape shuttles on the original Normandy. The difference here is that was a different time in Ashley Williams and John Shepard's relationship. This day was different. For in the past two years, the amount of hours they had spent together was short. From Horizon to Mars, and with Cerberus involved both times it seemed as if the Galaxy was doing it's utmost to keep the two of them apart.

At the same time, she knew John Shepard as the Commanding Officer of the SSV Normandy. She thought back to her first day upon the Normandy. Once Shepard had come around from his beacon induced state of unconsciousness, she watched as the remembrance as to why she was on board finally settled in.

_Jenkins._

John Shepard had lost many under his command over the years. Tears were never shed, but the weight of each life weighed heavily in his heart. No matter what would happen, it was key to Shepard that he portrayed himself cast out of stone for those around him. Those under his command believed in him, and Shepard would fight every single day to make sure they had someone they could believe in. So he swallowed down every life, remembering the sacrifice that they made in their journey with him.

They had talked briefly about romantic involvements with others. Shepard had opened up to Ashley that he had never looked upon another woman quite like Ashley Williams. From anyone else, it would have been a cheesy line which served for one purpose. For Shepard, its was the truth. Ashley Williams was what he had always wanted in a partner.

The destruction of the Normandy had changed all that. For the first week, Shepard wanted to run. He wanted to go home to the Alliance. He wanted to find Ashley. But he had seen with his own two eyes the proof of the pudding – the Collectors were targeting human colonies and they were working for the Reapers. So despite all his gut instincts telling him to do the opposite, he stayed and fought with Cerberus. He had to do what was right for the many.

When he looked across the courtyard to see her walking towards him on Horizon, everything changed. There she was, standing across from him in the flesh. Shepard wanted to run. But this time he wanted to run to her.

It didn't end well. She wouldn't listen to his side of the story. She was blinded by the Cerberus emblem. And when she left, he was lost once more.

As the weeks went by, he started to understand. Once reason had replaced passion, he knew many things she had said were in fact right. He didn't want to hear them, but he knew that he had to see it from her position. He had offered little to make her understand. But in reality, how could she? For Ashley Williams, John Shepard had died two years ago in a blaze of fire and destruction. When he had stood before her, how could she just accept that as if nothing had ever been wrong and to pick up exactly where they had left off? He starred at her email constantly during down time. Only once did he write a reply.

_Ash-_

_You have no reason to be sorry. I've been running around for the past couple of weeks now, and I haven't stopped to think about how my situation affects others. I catch glimpses of Garrus' face now and again... and he's just starring as if I'm a figment of his imagination. _

_To be rebuilt.. it just doesn't feel real. To know that I died haunts me every day. I don't know what I am anymore. But I'm going to fight until my final breath for the reason they brought me back. _

_I hope that one day you'll find peace. _

_- Shepard. _

He deleted the email instantly.

"I'm sorry Ashley, I shouldn't have said what I did. I've been bottling that up and-."

"Shepard.."

"Please, let me finish." Shepard paused as he collected his thoughts. "You know, ever since I was brought back I've wondered many things. The usual questions – How? Why? But more then that, I've wondered exactly if they were right to do it. Cerberus I mean. I look at what we accomplished with the Collectors and I ask myself, did I have to be there? The team in place was magnificent. It could have gotten the job done without me, I truly believe that."

Ashley held up her hand. "Shepard.. I know little of what you did first hand, but I've read the reports. You can't play down your influence in what went down. Sure you were part of a skilled group. But it was the biggest miss matched group of individuals I've ever seen – and I served on the original Normandy! What you do best is unite people under one banner. No matter the species, the size or the skill – you Shepard give everyone that extra skip in their step, the extra height in their boots. And I know it's never easy for you to hear these things, but it's true."

"I don't think I'll ever truly believe that Ashley. At the end of the day, I'm just a soldier."

"And I know you hate to hear this – but you're so much more then a solider Shepard. You're a symbol to so many.

Shepard leaned back in his chair grimacing. "I don't think the Batarians would agree with that."

Ashley sighed. "What happened there was unfortunate Shepard. At the end of the day you did the right thing. But you're right by the way – you shouldn't have said what you did." Ashley swung her legs forward over the bed. "Look – I'm not saying you can take it back, because you can't. And I can't sit here and honestly give you the response that you deserve. But I will say this. I loved you. You changed my life in such a way that I'll never be able to thank you enough. Because of you I'm a better soldier and a better person. It's been nearly three years and.. my feelings now just aren't the same as they were back then. And I know yours aren't too. You saw me get hit and it shook up some things inside of you, it makes sense. You are a man unlike no other Shepard. You deserve happiness that right now I don't know if I can give to you."

Shepard smiled as he leaned back in the chair. "I appreciate your honesty Ash. Maybe I got hit a few times too hard on the last mission or something.."

"Already making jokes at my expense sir?"

Shepard laughed. "Not this time LC. This won't change anything, will it?"

Ashley shook her head. "As soon as I'm fit for duty, I'll be back on the Normandy. Somebody has to keep your ego in check."

Shepard continued to chuckle. "I appreciate that. But really I'm glad to hear it. We need you with us Ashley."

"I wouldn't miss it, skipper."

Shepard had left shortly after to return to the fight. While Ashley had wished that he could stay a while longer, she knew that he had important matters at hand. Important matters that hopefully she would be able to help with sooner rather then later. Shepard had promised that he'd try to return soon, he wanted to hear what Ashley had been up to in the two years. Ashley however suggested that it may be a topic for a more suitable location such as Flux. As she gazed out of the window overlooking the magnificent views once more, she closed her eyes and sighed.

_I wish it was easy John. I wish that I could just pick things up like nothing had changed. I wish I still loved you. I want to believe that you're still the same man that you once more. Maybe with time things will be different. And it's selfish to even think this but.. don't give up on me. _

Ashley thought about how Shepard would keep his emotional baggage close to his chest, and how much of a surprise it was the first time he had let down his walls so she could pass through. She wondered if he had anyone with him during the Collector mission who he did let in, or was he alone hiding in plane sight?

_Maybe that's why he was so eager? It's possible that he believes he needs more then friendship for him to open up. Whatever happens John, I'll be here for you. You're not in this alone any more._

Ashley opened her eyes, staring at the view once more.

_Man I need to shoot something._

* * *

**This isn't going to be a long story like Desire or Defiance, it'll probably pick up a bit later in time next chapter. I know some people will be like 'Boo! Ashley should have been all I WUB U 2!' and everything would have been super sweet and nice and lalala.. but c'mon now. Just because worlds are falling doesn't mean someone can suddenly fall back in love with a man she's unsure of. **

**Basically - Shep was shook up by seeing Ash hurt, said something silly. Still cares about her, as does she to he.. but not the same as she did. Ash is Shep's trusted confidante never replaced her while she was gone. How will things go as time progresses and they spend more then just 10 minutes in two years together?**


	3. Battles

Eden Prime. Therum. Feros. Noveria. Virmire. Ilos. The Citadel. Horizon. Never in a million years did Ashley Williams expect to aim a gun at John Shepard. But on this day she was proved deadly wrong as she starred down at the saviour of the Citadel from behind her riffle.

"Shepard?"

Shepard was torn as he saw who stood in front of him. The last time he had seen her, she was lying stir crazy in a hospital bed. The last he had seen her, he had told her that he loved her. But now everything was different. She was holding a gun and it was aimed directly on him. And from everything that he knew about Ashley Williams, if she thought it was the right thing to do she'd follow it through. Despite his strong feelings for Ashley, Shepard had a job to do. Despite his hand wavering unfamiliarly, his pistol stayed level on Lieutenant Commander Ashley Williams as they gazed at each other.

"Ashley."

Neither had the chance to speak more as the cries of Donnel Udina loudly surrounded them. "Look! Shepard's with Cerberus – he's here to kill us!"

The marine stood to Shepard's left looked at the Councillor in disgust. "We're not with those bastards."

"Keep it quiet, Vega." Shepard never looked at James Vega as he spoke, his eyes still firmly drawn on the woman in front of him. She recognized the torment in his eyes, she was projecting the very same to him. Flicking her eyes quickly to Shepard's right, she noticed the familiar figure of Garrus Vakarian. It took all the power in her might to hold back a smile at the sight of the scarred Turian as she turned her attention back to Shepard.

"Don't listen to him, he's obviously been turned! Look – that's Garrus Vakarian with him too. He was with Shepard at Cerberus and he's by his side once more despite Palavan burning!"

Garrus growled quietly at Udina's ramblings, averting his eyes towards the Turian Councillor. To his credit, Sparatus looked unconvinced at his fellow Councillors words.

"We're not the threat here Councillors, the threat is standing right there beside you. Udina is in bed with Cerberus, Valern came to me with proof. We just stopped a Cerberus assassin from taking him out." He narrowed his eyes at his fellow Human being. "Everything that's happening around here is on you, Udina. Look around... you really think this is helping Humanity?"

Udina shook his head animatedly. "Nonsense! Once again your illusions have blinded you."

"My illusions? If you haven't noticed, the Reapers are tearing this Galaxy apart and you're standing there and questioning me? You have a lot of nerve you son of a.."

"Shepard, please." The peaceful voice of Tevos attempted to gain control of the situation. "If you'll lower your weapons, we can discuss this peacefully."

Shepard sighed. "There isn't time for discussions Councillor. There's a Cerberus squad right behind us. We need to get you to safety."

"Safety?! Pah! You want to kidnap us and hand deliver us to the Illusive Man!"

Shepard was quickly loosing his cool as he took a step forward. "Udina I swear.." Shepard stopped at Ashley's motion as she matched his move step for step. Turning his focus on Ashley once more, the pain returned to his eyes.

"Ashley, listen to me. I know that you think you're doing the right thing here, but I'm not the bad guy. You have to believe me."

Ashley attempted to keep her voice as firm as possible. "I want to believe you skipper. But I need to see some proof."

"There's no time for this Ash."

"Then why should I believe anything you have to say?" Ashley almost shouted at Shepard, the Commander keeping his ground well to his surprise. "You came to me and spoke those words.. and for what? Were they real? Or were you just trying to manipulate me for when this moment came?"

Shepard shook his head. "Think about what you're saying Ash. How would I even know that you'd be here? The last time we spoke you were still in the hospital."

It was true. Ashley and Shepard hadn't spoken since their first and only meeting. Shepard had tried to get away to the Citadel more often, but he simply couldn't find the time to visit. He knew she would be hurt at the lack of visitors, but at the same time understood that it wasn't out of choice. The Galaxy was burning.

"You knew about the SPECTRE offer Shepard. You knew that I wouldn't be able to turn it down. After everything my family has been through. Where did you think I'd go? I'm a SPECTRE now. It's my job to protect the Council from anything and that includes you."

"Listen to what you're saying Williams and start thinking with your head!" It was Garrus who was quickly growing tired at his former team-mate, the Turian venting his frustrations as Shepard held up a hand to stop him from talking any further.

"Ashley.." Shepard's voice was quiet, calm and venerable as he took a careful step forward while lowering his gun and motioning for Vega and Garrus to do the same. "Everything I said to you was the truth. Everything I'm saying to you now is the truth. You trusted me once. You followed me as we defied the Council and the Alliance to stop Sovereign. Please... place your trust in me one last time."

Despite Shepard lowering his pistol, Ashley kept her rifle firm as her fellow SPECTRE approached her. As he got nearer, she could see the torment behind his words up close, her hand beginning to waver slightly.

"Take him down Lieutenant Commander! That is an order!"

Ashley breathed in deeply, her voice shaken as it emerged. "Please John.. let's talk about this."

Donnel Udina erupted. "SPECTRE! TAKE. HIM. DOWN. NOW!"

Ashley gulped as Shepard spoke quietly so only she could hear. "Do what you have to do, Ash."

"Williams wait!" It was Sparatus who surprisingly spoke up, turning towards a raging Udina. "Shepard has done a lot for my home. Why would he do that if he's in league with Cerberus? A Genophage cure has no benefits to Cerberus."

"Don't be fooled by his lies! He's spread them deep throughout the Galaxy to cover himself"

"I agree with Sparatus."

Udina turned, unleashing his rage at the Asari Councillor. "How can you stand here and let him get away with this? You are supposed to be the voice of reason!"

Tevos sighed. "I believe, Councillor, that Shepard has earned a showing of good faith."

"This is why Humanity should govern alone – weakness!" Pulling out a concealed pistol, Udina made a grab at Tevos from behind. "Stay back or I'll shoot! Open the door Turian, now!"

Ashley couldn't believe what had transpired. In just one split second, everything had changed. The man who had made her a SPECTRE had sold them out. And she fell for everything he had offered hook, line and sinker.

Ashley spun around, her gun now aimed at the Councillor and his hostage as Shepard, Garrus and Vega stepped up to join her. "You can't be this stupid Udina, put the gun down!"

"Screw you, Shepard. The door, now!"

"And what? You think you're just going to wander off the station with the Asari Councillor as a hostage? Give me a break! This is why I never suggested you as Councillor in the first place. You're weak, pathetic and a disgrace to Humanity!"

Udina's rage was his downfall. As he turned his pistol in the direction of Shepard, the nod from the SPECTRE's told Tevos all that she needed to know. Pushing away from the grip of the Human, she dived to the floor as Ashley and Shepard opened fire on the unsuspecting Councillor.

Donnel Udina was dead. And not a moment too soon as the shout from the Turian Councillor alerted them.

"The door!"

The sound of the door being cut open from the other side instantly made Ashley, Shepard, Garrus and Vega spin on the spot. Their readiness turned to relief however as they were soon faced with the sight of Commander Bailey.

For Ashley Williams, all sound drifted away as the C-SEC Commander spoke with Shepard. She heard nothing but silence as she walked over to the lifeless body of Donnel Udina, looking down on Humanity's former Councillor.

_Son of a bitch._

_You held a gun on him. And you would have pulled that trigger. _

_I didn't trust him when it mattered. You were a fool to believe Udina's hype. You don't deserve to be a SPECTRE. You couldn't even see what was in front of you the entire time. _

Shepard soon stepped up beside her, he too looking down at the body as he spoke. "Ashley..."

Ashley shook her head. "Not right now John, please."

Shepard nodded, touching her shoulder comfortingly. "Don't let this consume you." The Commander made his way back to Sparatus and Tevos as Ashley's gaze lingered over the views of smoke and destruction surrounding her.

* * *

**Obviously this take's place where it did in the game, I didn't describe the location etc as I believed 99% of you have probably played through it. **


	4. Fight!

_Now that's a mighty fine sight. _

As Ashley Williams leaned against the railing at Dock D24 on the Citadel, she finally had a chance to truly evaluate the size of the ship she had spent just a short amount of time on. She had to give Cerberus credit; it was a damn impressive ship. Her mind however soon drifted back to the SR1. Looking at the Normandy now... it wasn't the home she longed for. Ashley wanted a different ship, a different time and with a different set of circumstances.

She still hadn't spoken to Shepard. She did however have a brief discussion with the remaining members of the Citadel Council. Despite their words saying there would be no blame laid at the SPECTRE's feet, their stature told Ashley all she needed to know. They were disappointed in her judgement, not her actions. And so was she.

As she made her way to the docking bay, she wasn't sure what she was going to do. A brief message from Alliance personal opened up the possibility of a position with Admiral Steven Hackett, but as soon as she laid eyes upon the ship that took up most of the viewing windows she knew where she wanted to be.

_It may not be the ship, but it's where the main fight will be. _

And so she waited. She was informed that Shepard was not on board; instead her fellow SPECTRE was following up with Commander Bailey at C-SEC. James Vega soon passed her on the way in, attempting to make small talk about what had transpired. She had politely declined his invitation to follow him on board, instead speaking of her intentions to wait for Shepard's arrival.

_Waiting right outside the airlock like a psycho ex-girlfriend. Maybe you should hold him at gun point when he arrives? Oh wait, you already did that!_

As the door slid open behind her, she had expected to find the Normandy's Captain. As she turned however she was quickly faced with Garrus Vakarian. The Turian certainly didn't look happy to see her and his tone of voice certainly painted a picture.

"So you're here then." Garrus stepped closer, eyeing the soldier closely. "Waiting for Shepard?"

Ashley wasn't surprised at Garrus' lack of happiness. The last time he had seen her she nearly shot Shepard. The time before was Horizon. They hadn't had much time to catch-up over smaller things.

"Yeah. You seen him?"

The Turian half-shrugged. "He'll be here soon. Just taking care of some of the damage that Udina caused."

Ashley fought herself not to look at the floor, instead keeping her gaze firm. "How could I have known, Garrus?"

Garrus shook his head disgustedly. "In the years that we knew him, when did he ever give us a reason to trust him? He gives you a big shiny badge and everything is forgotten? I didn't think your loyalties could be brought so easily Willliams."

Ashley stepped forward, anger raging through her. "You don't know what you're taking about! I thought this was a chance to do something good, to help those in need. That son of a bitch sold me out just like the rest of us."

Garrus narrowed his eyes. "And you nearly cost us the war."

This time Ashley did avert her eyes to the floor. "I wouldn't have.."

"Don't pretend like you weren't going to. Even when he told us to lower our guns, you didn't relent. Just couldn't admit you were wrong, could you?"

Ashley looked up, hurt filling her eyes. "Is that what this is about? I was wrong, okay? I'm sorry! Is that good enough for you?"

Garrus shook his head. "It's not."

The Turian moved past the marine, stepping towards the Normandy. He paused at the sound of her question. "If I did?"

"Humanity would have lost both of it's SPECTRE's."

Garrus turned his head, looking directly into Ashley's eyes. He knew that she was expecting that answer, the acceptance battling away the hurt feelings of his former team-mate.

"One of those SPECTRE's is going to fight tooth and nail to stop the Reapers. What is the other going to do?"

Garrus didn't wait for an answer, instead stepping into the Normandy to leave Ashley in private once more.

* * *

_I hope you find peace, Thane. _

The walk from Huerta Memorial was one of silence for Commander John Shepard. Despite the bustling around him as he walked of C-SEC officers attempting to get the Citadel back in tip top shape, he heard very little. For Shepard, he had lost another close friend. He tried to shake himself out of it, lambasting himself for wallowing while millions lost their lives but still his thoughts drifted from Thane, to Mordin, to Kaidan..

Stepping back onto the Normandy, he took a deep breath to compose himself once more.

"What's the crew-status, EDI?"

"All crew on board and accounted for, Shepard."

Shepard nodded. "Good. What about Lieutenant Commander Williams?"

"Lieutenant Commander Williams declined requests made for her to come on board. She had insisted that she would wait for your arrival."

Shepard raised an eyebrow. "So where is she?"

"The Lieutenant Commander left seven minutes ago."

"Any idea where she went?"

"Negative. Though I believe a conversation with Garrus may have impacted on her decision to leave."

Shepard shook his head, groaning as he did so. He knew that the Turian wasn't happy and was unlikely to hide his feelings from Ashley.

_I should have talked to him first, talked to them both. But Thane.. _

Opening his omni-tool, Shepard began to type as he turned to leave the Normandy. "I'm going to go find her."

"Acknowledged. Logging you out, Shepard."

_JS: Where are you? We need to talk._

_JS: Come on Ash._  
_..._

_AW: Flux. _

It felt as if he arrived as soon as she closed her omni-tool. As she sat at the furthest table away from the entrance, she quickly saw the familiar N7 armour walking towards her.

"May I?"

Ashley nodded as Shepard took a seat opposite, eyeing up her drink as it sat untouched on the table.

"I thought you'd have left by now, Commander."

Shepard leaned forward slightly on the table. "I still have things to do."

"Such as?"

"Getting you back where you belong."

Ashley scoffed. "Some how I don't think the crew will agree with you on that. They probably think I belong in a box next to Udina right about now."

Shepard shook his head. "Enough of that. I won't lie to you – people are pissed. From what I hear Garrus has made that perfectly clear."

Ashley swirled around the drink. "He certainly did."

"But it's not his ship and it's not his call. So down that glass, get your things and get back on board my ship."

Ashley looked up from the glass, straight into the eyes of Shepard. "I held a gun on you John. I would have shot you." Her voice was noticeably weaker, lacking the usual steel and grit.

"You couldn't have known what Udina was planning."

"But I should have known you!"

Shepard sighed, reaching out for one of Ashley's hands. Flinching, the soldier pulled back slightly. "I know what you're going to say. That I should move past it, that I should just get back to the fight. But you don't know how close I came..."

"I do. Trust me, I do. And you're right, that's what I would have said." Shepard rubbed the back of his neck. "There's no quick fix here Ashley. I forgive you, but you need to forgive yourself. You did what you thought was right, you always do."

"And a fat-load of good that has got me."

"It got you opportunities. But it was your hard work and dedication that got you where you are today. You're the finest soldier I've worked with. And I need you with us, with me. I don't know where this'll take us Ashley, but I know that I work better with you by my side."

Ashley closed her eyes, breathing in deeply before opening once more. "Shepard I can't.. with..."

"Where is the Ashley Williams that I once knew?" Shepard's voice was surprisingly harsher, catching Williams by surprise. "Where's the Ashley Williams who constantly pushed me to be better? Where's the woman who said 'Screw you!' to every single ignorant bastard who tried to blacklist her family? Where's the soldier whose word I trusted when it came to important decisions that would effect the entire damn Galaxy? Where's the woman I confided in when I had nobody else to turn to? Is she still here? The Ashley Williams that almost shot me to pieces earlier – that's who I want on my ship. The soldier who stands up for what she believes in no matter what."

Shepard stood from the table, looking down upon the shocked soldier sat in front of him. "I'm not asking you to come back because of how I feel. I'm asking you to come back because you can help save lives. If you want to kick the Reapers in their big, ugly faces you know where to find me."

As Shepard turned, he quickly heard the sound of a glass hitting the table as a chair screeched backwards. As she stepped up by his side, the soldiers voice was noticeably firmer.

"I'm with you, skipper."


	5. Surprises

_Ah, yeah... I forgot to tell her. _

"I assure you Lieutenant Commander Williams, I am no threat to you or those serving on Normandy."

Ashley Williams had been back on board for approximately one minute. The deep breath she had taken just before she stepped inside was an attempt to calm the nerves, because she knew what was coming. And she was right.

_Just keep your head down Williams, just make it through. It'll never be as bad as that first time. _

The slight swivel of Joker's chair, the blatant staring from crew members that she did not recognize. Internally she wanted to scream, shout, do anything to stop the lingering looks. But she stayed quiet. Almost.

The sight of Dr. Eva Core emerging from the elevator was horrifying. Ashley froze in place, unable to even reach for a weapon that wasn't there. _It can't be that thing. How many do Cerberus have?_ And then suddenly, Ashley Williams could move.

And move she did.

She wasn't sure why she went for the throat as Ashley was pretty sure it didn't breathe. The fact that it also let her slam it against the wall was a surprise. But the tranquil voice that emerged was even more of a shock.

"Hello Lieutenant Commander Williams."

_Wait.. that's.. I recognize that.. _

Ashley felt a hand on her shoulder, knowing full well who it was. "Ash, it's okay. It's my fault. I should have told you. This is EDI, she's with us."

_EDI? Wait.. that's the voice from the Normandy. The VI who would only let Joker fly the ship. But how could a.. she's not a VI. _

Ashley spun around, releasing EDI in the process. She knew all eyes were upon her, but she managed to keep her voice to a forceful minimum. "An AI, Shepard? An AI.. has got a body?!"

"I assure you Lieutenant Commander Williams, I am no threat to you or those serving on the Normandy."

Turning back to EDI, Ashley was amazed by how peaceful it's expression was. Finally feeling the pressure of all eyes starring her down, she mumbled a quick sorry before moving into the elevator and pressing the button for deck three. As the doors closed, she could just hear Shepard's firm suggestion that the crew return to their stations immediately.

When the elevator began to move, it instead went up. Pressing the button for deck three again, Ashley was not surprised that even the elevator seemed to hate her.

"My apologies Lieutenant Commander Williams, but Shepard has requested me to divert the elevator to his cabin. I also apologise if my appearance caught you off guard."

Ashley commended herself for not jumping at the sound of the voice.

"Er yeah, it's fine. Thanks."

"I hope that one day we will be able to put any lingering difficulties to the side. Jeff spoke highly of you during our mission against the Collectors."

_And now an AI in a killer robot body wants to be my friend. _"Yeah.. we'll see."

"I look forward to it. Logging you out."

As the elevator arrived at Shepard's cabin, Ashley stepped in to another surprising discovery. The place was HUGE. It had a fish-tank full to the brim with exotic looking fish, a massive display full of model ships and even a hamster! It didn't take her long to also spot the picture on the desk.

_Oh man.. that's a horrible photo. Did he have that up for all this time? _

Feeling a spread of warmth run through her, Ashley made her way to the living area and took a seat on one of the couches.

_So the crew already hate you and the first thing you do is attack something that they obviously feel comfortable with. Way to go Ashley, way to go on winning people back. _

Ashley looked down towards the empty coffee table.

_I should have never come back. _

Shepard obviously wasn't far behind, as he stepped into the cabin shortly after Ashley had taken a seat. Walking down towards Ashley, he gently put a bag down before smiling.

_My bag. _

"You dropped this when you attempted to choke out a robot."

Ashley felt a rush of warmth to her cheeks. "I'm the worst SPECTRE in the entire galaxy."

Shepard chuckled as he kicked off his boots. "If it makes you feel better, you can only go up from here."

"And here I was thinking I'd go break a few of Joker's bones, you know, to really see if I can dig myself in even further."

"I wouldn't do that if I were you, I'm not sure EDI would quite be as pleasant then." Shepard grimaced. "I forgot to tell you, I'm sorry."

"Shepard, are you sure it's.."

Shepard held up a hand. "EDI has saved us a dozen times over. She's a valuable member of this team. I know it's a little strange, especially with her walking around now and all.. but if you give her a chance, she may surprise you. I know that may be a little harder given the circumstances.."

"How did it even happen?"

Shepard sighed, taking a seat as he recounted the story of the post-Mars escapades that eventually led to EDI walking upstairs and nearly giving Joker a heart attack.

"And.. the thing that was in there before."

"Gone."

Shepard's voice was sure and certain, which made Ashley believe. After what had occurred on the Citadel, she thought the man deserved her trust.

"You want a drink? I don't have much but.."

Ashley's grinned. "Never one for the regs, were we?"

"Well technically we're both SPECTRES now, so we have full reign on doing what we want when we want."

Shepard passed Ashley a glass, filling it as he did the same with his. Ashley chuckled after taking a drink. "It doesn't feel as dangerous now."

Shepard shrugged. "I guess not."

"By the way," Ashley gestured around the room with her free hand. "I like your new digs. Very.. un-warship. You know, with the pets and all."

"Cerberus thought I might need the distractions. To be honest at first I wasn't sure but it's been nice, you know? And the bed is better then my old one."

"Mmhmm." Ashley swiftly took a drink. She certainly remembered Shepard's old bed. "Not the most flattering of photo's though."

"Cerberus was kind enough to provide it.. and I was glad they did. It helped me remember what I was fighting for." Shepard shook his head. "Sorry."

Ashley smiled softly, another shot of warmth travelling through her. "So what's the plan now?"

"Well.." Shepard put his glass down on the table before leaning back. "We're going to Eden Prime."

Ashley raised an eyebrow. "Eden Prime? But.."

"I know, I know. We have some intel that Cerberus found something big. I'm not sure what but considering things that have been found in the past there, it's definitely something we need to check out. We'll be there in a few hours."

"So enough time for me to piss off a few more people?"

"Or to win them back with your bubbly personality."

Ashley laughed as she finished her drink. "Where should I start?"

"You could introduce yourself to Javik."

"Who's Javik?"

"He's the Prothean living on deck four."

Shepard hated to spring another surprise so soon.. but the look on her face was worth it.


End file.
